I wish someone told me how easy it is to go insane as a Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM). I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in my new role as… well, pretty much everything. When the responsibility of being a wife, mother and homemaker seems unreasonable under the weight of spiritual dryness, sleep deprivation, body image issues and feelings of purposelessness, what do you do?
When your soul is sick, you can’t cure it by carnal means. If you’re dealing with any bit of postpartum blues, there is no other solution more powerful than genuine, quality time with the Lord. I’ve had to cry before the Lord and lay prostrate before him because I felt like no one else would understand my struggle as a new mother. You never have to worry about whether you’re exhausting your time with God, you’re boring Him or burdening Him. It’s a pleasure to know that He is always trustworthy, always available and always present. There are many things that you can do as a SAHM that will help you to feel better, but only time with God will make you BE better. If I never spent time in prayer as a SAHM, I would absolutely go crazy.
Sleep deprivation and depression go hand-in-hand. What you may be processing as depression could be a direct result of the amount of sleep you’re getting at night. When you’re sleep deprived, you have trouble with decision-making, emotion management, memory recollection and so much more. When it comes to keeping your sanity, sleep is paramount.There are many nights that Elijah has wakes 8 times demanding my attention. There have been so many mornings when I’ve felt like due to my level of sheer exhaustion, there was no way I’d be able to make it through the day. I’ve been resentful towards my husband because he’s had the privilege of a full night’s rest while I hold down the day shift and the night shift. There is nothing more challenging as a new mom than the issue of sleep. It sometimes feels like there is no rest for the faithful mom.It may sound wild, far-fetched or unrealistic, but I assure you, it’s possible to get more sleep as a SAHM.I had to get fed up with my exhaustion to realize this. I was in the pattern of getting Elijah to sleep at night and staying up for HOURS catching up on social media, watching YouTube videos, searching the internet and watching Netflix. I believed that Elijah’s sleep was my chance to indulge. Even after hours of self-indulgence, I’d feel no more fulfilled and all the more drained. Not only that, but I also realized how easy it was to neglect my husband that way. I got sick of feeling like a depressed zombie.Now I choose to go to bed earlier for the sake of my well-being and sanity. We get Elijah to bed before 9, have mommy-daddy bonding time, and then try to be asleep by 10pm. Choosing rest over all of the distractions of this world is the best decision you can make for yourself as a SAHM. You may not have the luxury of an early bedtime, but I assure that you will find sleep sometime else if you look hard enough.When you prioritize sleep, you’ll find it. Choose to take care of yourself. The healthier and happier you are, the better wife and mother you’ll be.
I used to think working out was selfish. If I wasn’t cooking, cleaning or serving my baby, then it wasn’t worth my time. Because I no longer bring home a paycheck, I became obsessed with bringing home VALUE. This idea led me to believe that if I was spending time working on myself, then I was wasting away the value that I bring to the home. I realize now that such a belief was what was stealing my joy, freedom and sense of self. This belief made me feel like a good-for-nothing, frumpy old mom. It was a lie from the enemy.When I started to move, I started to grow.By taking pride in my physical progress, my attitude changed. Because working out makes me feel good about myself, I am able to offer a spirit of joy and contentment to my household. Because I’m doing something for myself it energizes me (physically, mentally and emotionally) to serve my family.Even though I’m young, being a mom has a way of making me feel like old news. I’m currently on a fitness journey, call it #sayNOtomombod, which makes me feel sexy again. There’s nothing like seeing the numbers on the scale go down and fitting into old clothes again! Feeling both attractive and important does wonders for the psyche.When you’re sedentary and sleep-deprived, it’s a recipe for self-hatred. Deciding to make your health a priority is one of the best things that you can do for your family. Don’t fall victim to the belief that you’re selfish for having health-goals, fitness goals, weight-loss goals or any other goals. Your family needs you to be strong, healthy and energized!
It’s easy to feel like just a mom. Your identity can so easily become entangled in your child. If your baby starts babbling early, the world is at peace; if your baby starts walking late, the world is going to ruins. It’s not healthy to live vicariously through your child. Although your child is a reflection of you, your child is NOT you.Due to this truth, I have my own creative outlets. I blog, I film YouTube videos, I am partnered with entrepreneurs on various projects and I serve in ministry. It gives me a strong sense of purpose outside of the home. My creative outlets allow me the opportunity to add value to both my home and my community.If you don’t feel purposeful, you’ll go CRAZY.Maybe you have no interest in blogging or being an entrepreneur. I feel you. There are so many mommy-bloggers to begin with! Don’t feel the need to regurgitate what other moms do. Just find what makes you feel purposeful, and do it unto the glory of God.
Colossians 3:17And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.